


Courage To Hope

by artsytarts



Series: Bond/Leiter One Shots [1]
Category: James Bond - All Media Types, James Bond - Ian Fleming
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Pre-Slash, Slash, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27131485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsytarts/pseuds/artsytarts
Summary: As James Bond and Felix Leiter face parting ways after yet another unlikely meeting, Bond finds that he can't leave. Not when there is so much he still has to say.
Relationships: James Bond/Felix Leiter
Series: Bond/Leiter One Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058240
Comments: 25
Kudos: 16





	Courage To Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on the characters as they appear in Ian Fleming's books, but modern AU. Although really, you can imagine any Bond or Leiter you want.
> 
> Set in Zürich, Switzerland, just cause I can. XD

“First Call for British Airways flight BA 717, Zurich to London LHR, all passengers requested to proceed to gate D38.”

The announcement made a leaden weight drop down into Bond’s gut. One look at Felix Leiter told him that his friend felt the same. Soon both of them would be back on either side of the Atlantic. And their only contact for months would be sporadic phone calls, if one of them didn’t get caught up in a long haul assignment.

"So… Guess it’s goodbye then," Felix said, unable to keep the sadness out of his voice. It broke Bond's heart.

“I suppose…” he answered. His gaze flicked up to the departure board, then back to Felix. Pictures from the past weeks gurgled up from the depths of his mind. 

It had all started when Bond had been sent to Geneva, two weeks before a scheduled meeting of the UN Security Council to, quote, 'keep an eye out'. Nothing notable had happened for an entire week. Until, to his surprise and delight, he'd run into Felix Leiter, sent across the Atlantic on behalf of Pinkerton’s Detective Agency. Who in turn were working closely with the CIA.

The CIA, who had just uncovered a plot to blow up the UN in time for the meeting.

So much for a routine job. 

In the end, they had managed to foil the attack just in time, leaving Interpol to pick up the pieces. But not after Bond had almost paid with his life in an attempt to gather evidence.

It had been too close for comfort. Far too close. 

Snapping back to reality, Bond found that he couldn't move. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to board that plane. Not after he’d stared down the barrel of a gun and his only thought had been of Felix and that Bond would die without having told him…

"You okay?," Felix aked, as if sensing the thoughts rushing through his head.

Bond ignored the question, clutching his carry-on bag more tightly. "When will your flight leave?," he asked.

"Day after tomorrow. Why?"

Would M mind if he arrived back home a day or two later? Probably. On the other hand, he _had_ just averted an international catastrophe. The least they could do was to give him a day off.

Suddenly, there was nothing more urgent, nothing more important than to stay.

Having made his decision, Bond allowed himself a half-smile. "Let's go for a walk," He said, turned around and strode towards the escalator, away from the departure gates. 

"But… your flight!" Felix called after him, moving to catch up.

"I'll reschedule!"

"Really, James, this seems like a bad idea. Won't the boss mind?"

"Oh, most definitely,” he said, his smile widening ever so slightly. “Care for a coffee?"

Felix shook his head and chuckled. "You're unbelievable." 

"Is that a yes?"

"Sure, as long as you’re paying."

Pleased with himself, Bond put a hand on Felix’s back and leaned in close. “I know the perfect spot.”

* * *

“If you’d told me that your ‘perfect spot’ lay all the way up here, I would've declined. I was not prepared to walk up a damn hill!” Felix chided as they made their way upwards, carrying a coffee-to-go each. "I thought we'd stay at a café!"

Bond only patted him on the shoulder. “It’ll be worth it, Felix. Not far now.”

Felix huffed in response as he concentrated on climbing the last few steps. 

They finally emerged onto a courtyard. Felix’s wide eyes roamed the scene as they made their way across the gravel, past the old buildings rising up over the lip of the elevated yard and past the fountain, over to the edge. Yellowing trees were scattered throughout and the sun glittering through their crowns made the shadows dance. 

“It gets better,” Bond said and stopped by a stone parapet.

It was just as Bond remembered. A sheer drop opened into a view of the river Limmat below, the sprawling old town beyond giving the impression of a sea of dancing buildings. His gaze trailed the familiar cityscape, lingering on the two domed towers of the Grossmünster, then flicked down as a tram lazily rumbled its way along the _quai_. As far as views went it wasn’t the most spectacular, but it had a fairytale charm that made it Bond’s favourite. 

“Wow… you were right." Felix’s voice sounded from his left.

Bond smugly sipped at his coffee.

“How’d you find this place?” Felix had turned around and was looking back toward the trees.

Bond blinked at him. He fidgeted with the lid of his cup for a moment. Finally, he said: “My mother took me up here a few times.”

"Oh, really?”

Bond nodded. “My father's work demanded him to travel a lot. Sometimes he'd take us with him. Munich, Paris, Warsaw... you name it. Zurich too. She’d always make sure to come up here on our way through.” Bond smiled at the memory, despite the heaviness pulling at him. "She liked the trees."

A hand gently touched Bond’s shoulder and squeezed. When he looked up, he met felix' gaze.

That was the thing with him, Bond reflected as he searched those beautiful blue eyes. Felix didn't pity you, he simply… cared. He was like a rock in a swirling stream and though he’d been knocked around by life as much as Bond had, he never lost that steadfastness. Always believed that things would turn out okay. Which was one of the reasons why Bond was so fond of him. More than fond of him. 

He wasn’t quite sure when it had happened. One day he’d just… looked at Felix and realized that he was the single most important person in the world. 

Finally, Bond took a breath, willing himself to speak. “Felix…” he started and faltered, then started again. “There’s something I haven’t told you.” 

“Ah,”Felix said. He hoisted himself up on top of the parapet and patted the free space beside him, his hook clinking on the stone. “C’mon, sit down. Thought there was something on your mind.”

"Of course you'd notice,” Bond commented, but followed suit. 

“You don’t just walk away from a flight and drag your friend across town for nothing. So… what’s eating you?”

Damn. How in hell did you confess something like this without sounding utterly ridiculous? 

"I… I'm in love with… someone," Bond said weakly, cursing his own cowardice. He started fidgeting with his cup again. 

Felix frowned and took a swig of his coffee. This obviously wasn't what he'd been expecting. Carefully, he answered: "Sounds serious. Who's the lucky girl?"

"It's a man." 

"Aaaaah, lucky guy then! Honestly, I’m surprised, James! You've never talked about a guy before." 

Bond shifted awkwardly. "There's been a few, but... It isn't an easy subject."

Felix conceded with a slow nod. "Right, I get it. You've got nothing to fear from me. Love who you love, all I care about is that you're happy." He leaned over conspiratorially and smirked. "Can I tell you a secret too?"

Bond only lifted his eyebrows, wondering where this was going to go before Felix went on.

"I think I could go for a guy."

"You… you could?" 

"Sure. I mean, I've never been with one, but if the right guy comes along… Who knows?"

Bond gaped. It was probably rude, but he couldn't help it. He was suddenly very aware of his own pulse and with every pounding heartbeat, something like hope grew in his chest. Or was it excitement? 

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 

Felix laughed and nudged him with his plastic elbow. "Here we go, he's smiling! Now!" Felix clapped his left hand on his thigh, attentively sitting up. "Tell me 'bout your guy. Handsome?"

"Very." Bond put his cup down and gathered his resolve, crossing his arms tightly. "Most stunning blue eyes I've ever seen."

"And what's he like?"

"Oh, kind, very kind. Brave. Funny. Optimistic.” 

"Sounds like a nice fella," Felix said and emptied the rest of his coffee, having pried the lid off.

"Yes, you'd like him." Bond tried again, "He's American. From Texas."

At that, Felix chuckled. "You know, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were talkin' about me."

Their eyes met. 

For a long moment they stared at each other, Bond willing Felix to understand, silently pleading. Slowly, agonizingly, the smile drained from Felix' face as understanding dawned. 

"You don't… you don't actually mean _me_ , do you?" he gasped.

Bond gave the faintest of nods. 

“Since _when_?!”

“A couple of years.”

“Couple of…” Felix trailed off, his mouth hanging open and his gaze fixed straight ahead. "Holy shit."

"Look, I'm not asking you to...I'm not asking you out. I just…" Bond sucked in a shaky breath. "I'm in love with you, Felix and I can't help it. And frankly, after almost dying last week, I couldn't bear the thought of never telling you."

Felix blinked a couple of times. "Valid point," he said, in a faraway voice. Though Bond could hardly bear the tension in his body, he kept his mouth shut and gave his friend the time he needed. 

After too long of a moment, Felix let out a drawn-out breath. "Wow. Can't say it isn't a shock."

"Obviously."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad, I'm… I just… I need some time. To think." He waved his arms, trying to find words he didn't have. "I mean… I never imagined… it never occurred to me that you and I… not that I think it couldn't work out, cause obviously you're a great guy and... handsome, I just don't… know." 

"Felix, nothing has to change. We can always... stay friends. If this is a step too far–" 

"No, I mean… look, of course we'll stay friends, that's not what I'm worried about. What I'm worried about is, if I say no, will you be able to stand it?" 

Would he? He didn't know. Now that the possibility had opened itself up, Bond neither dared hope too much nor hope too little. A rejection would be painful, but… 

"I'll deal with it," he decided. Hoped.

"You sure?"

"I _will_ deal with it," Bond repeated.

"All right." Felix breathed a heavy sigh. And then quietly, almost tentatively, he added: "I guess we'll just have to… see where this goes, huh?"

Bond gave an answering nod. 

For a while, the both of them stayed seated on the cool stone, watching the fountain and the people and the trees, which were swaying in the early autumn wind. With every passing minute, the silence between them grew more comfortable again. Back into familiar territory. And yet, there was something new. Bond stole a glance at Felix and wondered what was going on behind those steely blue eyes. 

"If it's of any use," he began, "In whichever way this pans out… I'm glad I told you."

Felix gave a short laugh and smirked, swinging his legs. "Y'know, so am I. Still weird, but… maybe good weird."

And with that, Bond let himself hope just a little bit more.

  
  



End file.
